Widow struggles to cope after husband ends his life
Radhica De Silva
Senior Reporter
radhica.sookraj@guardian.co.tt
Sasha Ramoutar’s world collapsed the day she became widowed at 31 as her common-law husband, Jeremy Ramcharan, took his own life. He was 29, and the weight of financial burdens proved too much to bear.
Ramcharan had been her everything—her caregiver, her strength, the one who ensured she had her life-saving medication as she struggled with heart, kidney, and eye diseases, the same conditions that claimed her mother’s life.
Now, two months after his death, Ramoutar lives at her uncle’s house on Cemetery Street, Monkey Town, Barrackpore, the grief weighing heavily on her daily.
She is nearly blind and her uncle’s home cannot accommodate her needs comfortably, as she cannot walk up the steps or navigate the uneven yard.
Speaking to Guardian Media, Ramoutar said, “I can’t stay here forever. I have a house in Tulsa Trace, but no money to finish it.” She explained that construction on the house started some years ago but was left incomplete after she fell ill. Ramoutar said Ramcharan tried his best to help. He had worked at a parts store, earning just enough to scrape by.
Ramoutar said he wanted to build a better life for them—he was even planning to buy a car, though she believes the looming loan and her escalating medical expenses overwhelmed him.
“He used to spend so much on me … $300 a week on meds,” Ramoutar recalled, her voice quivering with regret. “I think he was worried about how he would pay for it all, especially with me being so sick.”
The Tuesday before he died, Ramcharan was supposed to bring the car home, but that day never came. Instead, he took his own life in the early hours of the next morning.
Ramoutar remembered speaking to him that night; he was quiet, but she never imagined it would be their last conversation. The next day, the police called to inform her of his death.
“He never said much about funds,” she said, her tears barely contained. “But now, I understand how much pressure he was under.”
With Ramcharan gone, Ramoutar is now left with a half-built house and mounting medical issues. Her father, Reynold, who suffers from hypertension and needs back surgery, cannot complete the home.
Ramoutar said the house needs plastering, a bathroom, windows, doors, and electricity installed. She said each passing day brings more anxiety and uncertainty.
“I can’t come down the steps on my own,” she said. “My aunt Ria has to cook for me, wash my clothes, and help me get by. If it weren’t for her, I don’t know how I would survive.” She also noted that Ria won’t be around much longer.
“She plans to move out at the end of the month. I don’t know what I’ll do when she leaves,” Ramoutar admitted, her voice tinged with worry.
“She’s like a mother to me … I don’t have anyone else.” She noted that her health continues to deteriorate. Heart palpitations, shortness of breath, and pain wrack her body daily.
“I can no longer lie flat to sleep. I have to sit upright on a couch. Sometimes I struggle to breathe,” she revealed.
Despite her worsening condition, Ramoutar soldiers on without a source of income. Her 57-year-old father is equally strained by his own health struggles.
“I try to pray every day,” Ramoutar said softly, holding onto her Hindu faith for comfort. But the burden she carries grows heavier each day. “I just want to finish the house. If I get my house and don’t have to depend on anyone, I will be happy.”
Meanwhile, Aunt Ria said Ramoutar’s story was one of unimaginable loss. “I do my best for her, but I worry that after I leave here, who will take care of her?”
She expressed hope that someone, somewhere, would hear her cries and help Ramoutar complete her home.
Meanwhile, the President of the Fathers Association of T&T, Rhondall Feeles, called on the authorities to continue providing support to families affected by suicide.
He said between 2022 and 2023, 204 men took their lives.
Anyone wanting to help Ramoutar or donate building materials can call 334-5751 or make donations to First Citizens Bank in Penal, Account Number 2754984.
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